How To Find The Man Of Your Dreams Without Dating Mr. Wrong

3 Little Known Ways To Find A Boyfriend

Want to find a boyfriend?

Lonely_Pug

Sad pug hasn’t done the work to find a boyfriend

A good one?

This post will show you how to find a boyfriend.

In this post you’ll learn:

This method works.
You can create the relationship you want.

NOTE: Are you looking for a magic solution? Think that quality relationships just..happen?  Yes?

Stop reading.

This is a guide for women who want results from taking action.

Your approach to dating and relationships hasn’t worked.
The common failure in all your relationships: You.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.

We’re starting over the right way, right now.

Go get these things so you can get started:

  • Paper
  • Pen or Pencil
  • A timer
  • A place with no interruptions

You have work to do. Do it and get results.

Step 1. Write your wish list

“Where should I go?” -Alice
“That depends on where you want to end up” -The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland

Writing the order

Get a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to write with. Writing activates your brain in a way that typing does not.

Did you get paper? Get some or stop reading. This guide is about action and either you’re on team action or you’re not. Choose your team.

This is your opportunity to list all the things you want in another person, your boyfriend to be.

Take 15 minutes to write down everything you would want in
your boyfriend to be. Whatever your preferences are, get them all
out. Take 10 minutes right now to write this down. If you
get stuck, consider:

TMOYD

Have you found  your boyfriend?

  • Work
  • Appearance
  • Family life
  • Religious beliefs
  • Finances
  • Hobbies
  • Location
  • Background
  • Temperament
  • Hangouts
  • Health

Next, ask yourself “What do I absolutely not want?” and list what
comes to mind.
These items are your non-negotiable deal breakers.

Good job. If you get stuck, think about the opposite of your
must haves, and capture the most important deal breakers for you.

You now have a wish list for your BTB. Your list should show what
you’re looking for, and what would let you know that this is, or
isn’t the person.

Review your list. Add anything important to you. Remove anything that isn’t
critical to your happiness.

Want amazing results? Review each item and ask yourself if “Is this
required for my BTB?”. If the answer isn’t “HELL YEAH“, delete it.

With this list, you can tell if this person was standing right
in front of you. If you don’t have that precision, go back
and rework your list until you do. Finish up and let’s continue.

Step 2. Change your perspective

You’re doing great. While other people don’t think about what
they want, you’re going to go deeper. Once completed, you will have
an advantage over everyone else and save you tons of time.

Take your list.

Clear your mind.

For a moment, set aside what you want, and what you are
looking for. With that clear mind, assume the point of view
of your target. Imagine you are your boyfriend to be and
think about his:

  • Wants
  • Fears
  • Dreams
  • Hates
  • Loves
  • Likes
  • Deal breakers
  • Must haves

If you get stuck, guess. You might not KNOW where your
BTB would spend his free time. Guess. Put in time imagining the
world from their point of view. The result of this thinking
gives you a valuable perspective.

Using this point of view, answer the questions:

  • “What is my target looking for in a relationship”?
  • “What is my target looking for in another person”?
  • “Do I look like that type of person”?
  • “How would he recognize me”?

If you want a hot model type, and are 20 lbs overweight,
not showing up as your best self. Consider your target’s point of
view and the priority they place on fitness. Is there a gap?

If there is a gap, you can work to close it. It
could be by examining if a hot model type is what you
want. It could be by knowing that looks aren’t the most important
thing to either of you.

It could be by putting some time and effort into your own
physical condition. Decide what action is right for you.

All of those actions have value, even if it only shows you
a conflict in the intersection between you and your targets wants.

This leads us into the most important piece in your effort to
find the relationship that you want: taking responsibility.

Step 3. Take Responsibility

You’ve written the wish list details of your BTB on paper.

You’ve thought about what he wants, from his point of view.
You’ve looked at your wants and where they match or don’t with
what your BTB would likely want.

You’ve got one final step in your effort to find a boyfriend.

It’s time to take responsibility for yourself. Learn from your past relationships.
What you do now, in this moment, going forward, is where to put your focus.

You’ve done good work that other people don’t. Front loading this work
will save you time normally wasted on people who aren’t a good fit for you.

You’re now armed with information that will let you immediately disqualify people
who are not a fit. If you want someone 6 feet tall, 5’11
isn’t a match. It’s not a judgement, or personal.

Take action now

Time to act. If you did the work you should have had
at least one valuable insight.

What did you learn that you want to change about yourself? Make
a plan for how you are going to address it.

  • What action can you take right now, to become the person you
    want to be?
  • What action can you take so you are the person that
    your BTB is looking for?
  • What is the next step can you take on the path to
    meet your BTB?
  • What do you need to keep doing?
  • What do you need to start?
  • What do you need to stop?

Do it now.

Take that action now. Now you know how to find a boyfriend.
Let me know how it goes. Found this guide useful?
Share it right now with the girlfriend who needs to read it.
Hate it? Either way, let
me know @sean_oliver on Twitter.

Also published on Medium.

The Author

Sean Oliver

Sean Oliver is a management consultant in Seattle, WA