Don’t Make Me Shake You

Hulk (comics)
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A question I have grown to loathe with an intensity that burns with the heat of no fewer than 9 firesides is “What do you do?” My distaste of this question is not in the asking of it. I welcome the interest in me, and my vocation. The true source of my ire is in the realization that no answer from me, however lengthy or terse, creative or stale, whimsical or relevant has resulted in anything that could be discerned as understanding. I am irritated that my friends and family have no clear understanding as to what I do for work.

Their understanding extends as far as knowing that I generate income in an apparent legal fashion.

So, what do I do? Let’s start with what my corporate role is. I am a consultant. Now, what do I do? This is best described metaphorically. At a variety of high tech companies I am responsible for making sure my client is transformed into a high performing one. But, you say, I don’t get it Sean, what does that mean? I mean, what do you DO?

Ok, here goes. If corporations were Bruce Banner what I do makes them turn into the Hulk. If Corporations were Superman, I would be the rays from our yellow sun. If the client was the fantastic four, I would be the gamma rays. If the client was a meal, I would be bacon salt or baconaise if the client is a sandwich. If the client was Tony Stark, I would be J.A.R.V.I.S.

So frustrated, can’t type. The metaphor tank is empty.

The Author

Sean Oliver

Sean Oliver is a management consultant in Seattle, WA