If You Want More Friends Do This One Thing

I’m the least cool of all my friends.

It’s something I have refused to accept. Working in marketing, I know facts don’t matter. Attention matters. So to win hearts and minds I needed a new approach.

I started a Friends Newsletter.

 

It’s what it sounds like. A newsletter I write, for my friends.

To be honest, I stole the idea of a friends newsletter from Nick

Gray. Nick Gray is the founder of Museum Hack and an all-around nice guy.

 

He has a Friend’s Newsletter that, in his words:

“It’s unlike any other newsletter: There aren’t any ads, and I only send it every month or two when I find something amazing” -Nick Gray

 

It’s cool.

 

I subscribed. I send mine out almost monthly. It gives my friends something to talk to me about.

 

Since I’m the only one of my friends who does this, I feel pretty cool.

 

It forces me to be a bit more interesting. Otherwise, what am I going to write about? I cover:

  • what I’m watching
  • what I’m eating (love snacks)
  • and a brief recap of the month, plus a picture

 

People cooler than me look forward to receiving it.

 

If you don’t have a newsletter, I strongly recommend it. And if you want mine, just DM me.

Who doesn’t want more friends?

3 Sanity Saving Remote Work Tools

I’ve had some friction in the last 456+ days working from home.

Here are three tools that have saved my sanity, time, and money.

1. Krisp

It’s noise cancelation software.

You can sit right next to your dishwasher running, or music in the background, and they won’t hear a thing. That’s value right there. BUT WAIT! It’s not just for you, it works on their end too!

Your coworker calling from their car. The coworker with the barking dog.

You’ll occasionally hear them apologizing but you’ll never hear the offending noise.

Such sweet silence.

2. Loom

I’m a big fan of saying things once.

When I say them twice I’m going to be recording a response or walkthrough with Loom. Loom lets you record a video under 5 minutes while sharing your screen. Send them a link, or the video directly and who just saved themselves a meeting?

You. You saved yourself a meeting.

3. Textexpander (Mac & Windows) and Autohotkey (windows)

If you aren’t using text replacement software you’re typing too much.

Text replacement, specifically, text replacement you can customize is a game-changer.

Example:

YEARS ago I made a text replacement for “Guys” to “Folks” so I could start using more inclusive language. It also helps me save time with replacements like “thank you” when I type “TY”.

The time savings adds up.

All these tools have free trials, so you can test the waters and see if your work from home life improves as much as mine.

Turn On Your Camera

My strongest sense is my vision.

I notice folk’s expressions. Facial, physical, you name it.

The little twitches, frowns, squints, and pursed lips are something I’ve noticed as a child. The twiddling of fingers.

I think they are called micro-expressions.

I can’t NOT notice them.

In 455 days of working from home, I’ve noticed how very few people turn on video on calls. The reasons are always some form of:

“I don’t want to.”

I get it. I hate video too. I’ve been told that I ” You have the best face game.” – Trusted Colleague

This is not to be confused with having the best poker face.

I don’t have that.

You know the face you make when you smell something really bad, and you are trying to sort out if it’s you. Oh goodness don’t let that be me. Where is that rank smell coming from?!

That’s the face I make when I hear things that Don’t Make Sense To Me.

I make this face so often, folks have sent me screenshots. I’ve tried to work on it unsuccessfully my entire life. I’m considering botox.

I turn on my video anyway.

Why?

My coworkers deserve every possible communication input in these challenging times.

No one should wonder if I’m paying attention. No one should be unsure if I’m following what they are saying. Plus, on occasion, who can be mad at this winning smile?

Jokes aside. Stealing inputs from the people you spend the most time with during the day isn’t cool. It’s not good for them, and it’s not good for us collectively.

So put your minor preferences aside and turn on your cam.

1 Document You Must Update Today (If You Have It)

TLDR: You’re amazing.

Enough about you for now. One of the best choices I made years ago was creating a Qualities of Achievement doc(QoA).

A Qualities of Achievement document is a spreadsheet or document that captures your successes as well as your qualities that enabled that achievement.

Sound good? I’ll get you started on it. You survived 2020. One of the qualities that enabled your survival was your resilience. Your endurance. Persistence?

You’ve been winning and you should write it down.

My QoA starts when I graduated college. I’m encouraged when I review it and update it for the achievements of course. What is even more impactful for me is seeing the qualities that I have developed. The qualities that I have strengthened over the years.

I won’t lie. I often surprise myself.

You can use this document for whatever you like. It can help you craft a compelling resume. You could use it to plumb your history for interesting stories and anecdotes. You might even spot qualities you want to build.

You have a rich history.

Take the time to capture one or two achievements for the last year. Go back as far as you would like. You are capturing a lot of awesome.

Celebrate not only your wins but the unique qualities that got you there.

The 1 Key Quality You Miss When You Only See Positive

The 1 key quality you miss when you only see positive and negative.

You miss neutral.

That was a terrible massage. I don’t want to do that again. What was I thinking? I will never do that again.

Removing negative experiences make sense.

Wow, my friend is fantastic. They are so supportive. I wish we could spend more time together.

Quality time with this friend is a positive experience, no question.

If you’re like me, you’ve overlooked the middle. The neutral experience. The so-so dining experience. The ok-I-guess coffee with a friend. Anything that falls in the category of “It wasn’t the worst”.

These neutral experiences are stealing your time, energy, and attention.

 

You could’ve been anywhere in the world. But you’re here with me, I appreciate that -Jay Z

Here’s why. Every neutral experience you support is stealing the spot of a positive one. Indulging someone who wants to “pick your brain” is time stolen from your family, or best friend, or even a great book.

Cut out this lukewarm slack and immediately benefit.

Yes, we should strive to cut the negative interactions and exchanges in our life. Let’s also include the no-value-add neutral experiences.