3 Ways To Write Online Dating Emails Your Dream Woman Will Read

Cupid Awake ~ Antique Lithograph

Image by chicks57 via Flickr

When online dating writing an email to a woman can frustrate a guy. Its hard starting a conversation via email. Getting your email read in an online dating situation is a difficult proposition. According to online dating site OK Cupid 2/3rds of men email the top 1/3rd of attractive women online. This means your email is one of hundreds or more from guys just like you. The tips below will help you get past the first hurdle and get your email read.

1. Craft An Attention Getting Subject Line

Not having a subject line is like not speaking when you pick up the phone.  It demonstrates laziness and lack of thought.  Not a great first impression. Include a subject line.

2. Engage The Reader’s Attention

The key word is engage. Make your subject enticing and interesting. Don’t use “Hi”, “Hello”, “Howdy” or “I ____ your profile” as a subject line. EVERY GUY DOES THAT.  Instead, engage their attention. Perhaps pose a question. Try to include an interest or activity or relevant detail from their profile.  Does she like chocolate, dogs, or video games? Integrate those components. Think about what drove you to write them in the first place and integrate that into the subject. You need to answer the question for them “Why should I click on THIS message”? Example, “This breathtaking view is missing…” or “If you like Coach then you’ll love…”

3. Be Specific

“Call me” isn’t going to work, nor will a subject line that looks like you copy/pasted it on 20 other emails. Is there a popular local spot/attraction/event? Is there positive local news? Include some component of that in your subject line.  Be specific, be engaging, and don’t be surprised when your online dream girl actually reads your message.

  • Lola

    As an attractive female who has had dating web sight profiles, Sean speaks the TRUTH!!! The most generic response (no matter how attractive the guy looked) I would breeze over and not even think twice about. Some of the funnest dates I've ever went on were with guys who thought themselves as average… but in reality they were funny, daring, courageous, spontaneous and full of personality!!! Even though they thought their looks were average, I found them extremely attractive and a breath of fresh air!!! Sean knows (this time) what he's talking about.

  • Lola

    As an attractive female who has had dating web sight profiles, Sean speaks the TRUTH!!! The most generic response (no matter how attractive the guy looked) I would breeze over and not even think twice about. Some of the funnest dates I've ever went on were with guys who thought themselves as average… but in reality they were funny, daring, courageous, spontaneous and full of personality!!! Even though they thought their looks were average, I found them extremely attractive and a breath of fresh air!!! Sean knows (this time) what he's talking about.

  • Thanks for the kind words.

The Author

Sean Oliver

Sean Oliver is a management consultant in Seattle, WA