3 Ways To Keep Your Mistress And Your Money

by Sean on December 2, 2009

If you are like Tiger Woods, you have it all. Money, hot wife, fame. But something is missing. That missing piece is your mistress. Lets be honest, you are going to get one. Here are three tips to help you have your cake and keep it too.

1. Use a prepaid mobile phone- These things can be had for 20 bucks at your local convience store. Why clog up your current device with your sexting and naughty pics? By a tracfone, or something from Boost Mobile.

2. Don’t leave messages- Seriously, don’t do it. You call someone, and all modern devices show missed calls. Leave a voicemail if you want it played on the internet before your contrite public apology.

3. Keep it low tech- This means no social networking shenanigans whatsoever. Unless you have an account on sidechickbook, keep it off line. NO EMAIL.

There you have it. Three simple ways to preserve both your cash, and your libido. Thank me later. And to the Tiger Woods team, you are doing it wrong.

Tiger Woods Had Sex With Ladies, Allegedly (manolith.com)

Article by Sean Oliver

Sean has written 487 awesome articles for us.

{ 7 comments }

Rahsheen December 2, 2009 at 11:10 pm: LOL! I guess technically inclined people have it easier here. Why would you ever leave a mistress a voicemail? I think Mariah is in the same situation with Eminem, leaving voicemails that he can use against her. I would add that sharing any risky pics that include your face would definitely be a bad idea (see Rihanna and Cassie).
Sean Oliver December 2, 2009 at 11:17 pm: True. Perhaps a sidechick academy? Just so many people breakin' the rules here.
Rahsheen December 2, 2009 at 11:24 pm: I'm thinking those that don't know any better would never find the academy anyway. LOL. I mean, you are so popular that you can't go out in public without causing a scene. What would make you think you can carry on a secret relationship?
johnnybtruant December 3, 2009 at 6:25 pm: How'd that AshleyMadison.com sponsorship end up working out, then?
Sean Oliver December 3, 2009 at 8:16 pm: Brilliant idea!
Lola December 16, 2009 at 11:35 pm: As sad as this entire concept is…. especially to those who haven't had their bubbles burst yet and still think not everyone cheats… this is SOUND ADVICE!!!! Especially if your new to the game, lol… Learn from the wise, take Sean's advice.
Lola December 17, 2009 at 7:35 am: As sad as this entire concept is…. especially to those who haven't had their bubbles burst yet and still think not everyone cheats… this is SOUND ADVICE!!!! Especially if your new to the game, lol… Learn from the wise, take Sean's advice.